Hear me out on this fasting thing

on Lent, being hangry, and why something that feels terrible might be exactly what you need

Image by Kawita Chitprathak from Pixabay

I’ll admit it. I’m a fasting nerd. I love that fasting is one of the tenets of Lent and that we’re all doing it together in some way during these 40 days. Whether you’re fasting from TV, sugar, coffee, social media, or skipping snacks between meals or skipping lunch or dinner, we’re in this together.

I didn’t used to love fasting. At least not the kind of actual fasting from food that is (minimally!) required on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday. In fact, I hated it. Any kind of fasting just seemed so impossibly hard, and for years I had a built-in excuse anyway. I was pretty much pregnant or breastfeeding for the first 13 years of our marriage. And if that’s you right now…move along! This post is not for you.

But back to the fasting. Like I said, even after all the baby years, it still felt impossible to me. I was pretty good about staying physically active. I enjoyed running, and I actually thought strength training was fun (Psst! I still think it is! But that’s a different post for a different day). I tried to eat a balanced diet, especially with protein at breakfast, and I really believed that my active lifestyle required that I eat every few hours.

Dan used to tease me about getting HANGRY and it was 100% true. There were times when our schedules would change or there would be an inevitable interruption (Hello! We have 8 children!). If I did not eat at my regularly scheduled times, I felt like I might die. And I wanted to kill someone before I went. I didn’t like this inflexibility about myself, but I didn’t think there was much I could do about it.

One year, when I traveled to Boston for a week for filming The Gist, I knew it would be challenging for me to have my regularly-scheduled breakfast of my regularly-scheduled eggs every morning at the precise time I believed I needed them. And so I packed a cooler with a dozen boiled eggs. I am not kidding. I kept my precious cooler filled with my precious eggs in my hotel room and changed out the ice twice a day. Every morning, I had two damp boiled eggs for breakfast, and I gotta say. By the end of the week, the soup in that cooler was so unappealing I tossed the whole mess and suffered through the hangry instead.

I look back on that time and OHMYGOSH what was I doing?

So what changed? Well, I learned that fasting does not kill you. And how did I do that? By starting to do it, a little bit at a time.

I also learned that feeling hangry means a blood sugar drop and that, among other things, regular fasting actually helps regulate those blood sugar highs and lows…but I’ll leave that kind of discussion to the medical professionals.

I’m here to talk about the “fasting does not kill you” part. It doesn’t! I discovered this at the beginning of one Lent several years ago when I read Jesus’ words about fasting and noticed something.

When you fast, do not look gloomy like the hypocrites. They neglect their appearance, so that they may appear to others to be fasting. Amen, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, so that you may not appear to others to be fasting, except to your Father who is hidden. And your Father who sees what is hidden will repay you.

Matthew 6:16-18

When I read this familiar passage that year, it was the first time I noticed the “when you fast” part. Jesus doesn’t say “If you fast…” or “If fasting is something you’d like to do…” He says when you fast. It’s a given that you’re doing it.

So it’s a given that we’re doing it, and it’s one of the tenets of the Lenten season. I decided I needed to figure this thing out. And so that Lent, I decided to try fasting from food at certain times on certain days and offer up the hangry for specific intentions. I started super small. Like waiting 2 hours before eating my usual breakfast kind of small.

And I truly thought I might die. But then I didn’t. I lived to fast another day, and bit by bit, it got a little easier to do, even for longer spans of time. I kept a little notebook where I tracked prayer intentions attached to each of the fasts, and that super-motivated me. By the end of that Lent, I had a filled-up notebook and an entirely new outlook on fasting: It was actually possible to do, and the spiritual benefits were undeniable. No wonder Jesus requires it! Some of my observations from that Lent and beyond:

1. Fasting quiets your inner “self.”

This is the main thing we are called to do as Christians—deny ourselves and focus on God and others. Fasting teaches us to not seek immediate gratification. You are not going to die because you feel hungry. You do not need to mindlessly eat food every time you see it or graze your way through meal preparations. Desiring something does not require immediate satisfaction. That “ME-ME-ME!!” voice we all have in our heads? Fasting teaches it to sit down and be quiet.

2. Through fasting, you gain power over physical desires.

We are meant to control our physical passions with the use of reason, and fasting is a practice in doing exactly that. Hunger is such a basic drive, and that was why for years I thought it could not be denied, even for a short period of time. But I was wrong, and the truth is that if you can master your hunger, you can master your anger, lust, pride, and so on. This is what we are called to do!

3. Fasting helps you grow in gratitude.

It’s hard to be grateful for food when we’re constantly eating it and never truly experience hunger. We don’t even really enjoy food when we are eating very frequently. Fasting teaches us to appreciate food, but also many other blessings and pleasures in our lives. During times when I’m fasting from food, I’ll especially notice other small pleasures or joys I might otherwise take for granted—a hot shower, a hug from my husband, or a walk on a sunny day.

4. When you fast, you can “offer it up.”

When Jesus went into the desert to pray, he fasted too. Prayer and fasting go hand in hand, especially this time of year. You can offer up your fasting for yourself, for your marriage, for a friend, for the Church, for your kids, or for some special intention. I love being able to tell someone that I’m not only praying for them, but that I’m “offering up” for them too. What a gift that God allows us to encourage and support one another in this way. It’s powerful stuff!

5. Through fasting, we gain strength to do hard things.

The practice of fasting teaches us to accept suffering that comes our way and be patient in it, because we know it will not last forever. I heard an intermittent fasting expert once say that “hunger is not an emergency” and that is so true (and so contrary to what I used to think)! So many times when we experience something painful or even just inconvenient, our immediate response is to fight it. That’s human, of course, but we can we learn to see the value of patient suffering as Jesus teaches us through his own example. We can reject the world’s view of suffering as something without value or meaning, and instead embrace fasting as a discipline that teaches us to trust in God for our strength.

6. Fasting empties you and prepares you to receive God.

When we empty ourselves out physically, we become prepared to receive God’s grace, strength, love, and presence. Physical hunger is a physical manifestation of a spiritual hunger and longing for God, a hunger that is built in to every one of us. Fasting helps us to see this and practice being receptive to God in our “emptiness.” When you are fasting, pray and ask God to fill your emptiness with more of himself.

I’ve talked about fasting several times online and on Girlfriends, and every time I do, I hear from someone who is upset about it. They want to tell me all the reasons why fasting is unhealthy or why they personally can’t do it, and I am not here to provide medical advice or judge anyone’s approach to Lent. But I am here to say:

There are many different ways to fast, Jesus tells us to fast, and fasting is inextricably connected to fruitful prayer and spiritual growth.

So, that’s it! That’s my journey from “hangry mess” to someone who not only embraces fasting, but finds it to be an irreplaceable spiritual tool. If you're new to fasting, I suggest you start small, listen to your body, and seek guidance from a priest or medical professional if needed. And most importantly, approach it with an open mind and a willing heart. You might be surprised by the difference fasting can make in your life, both spiritually and physically.

And now, let’s get back to Lent! I’m praying and fasting for you today. I’m so glad we’re in this together.