Last fall, I wrote about my growing discomfort with Instagram. Last January, I made it official. I didn’t dramatically delete my account while clutching my pearls. I just… left. Completely. No app. No scrolling. No “just checking real quick.”
Oh gosh, can I come over for a cup of coffee and chat about this with you for a few days? I am in agreement with every bit of this 100%. I took THREE YEARS OFF. And… just returned. Opened the app…started posting… and IMMEDIATELY I could feel the rewiring of my brain…and heart. I’m “using it” to organize thoughts/chapters for a book proposal… I’m “using it” as a way for people to find me here, on Substack (like a gateway drug)… and “using” and “drug”are appropriate words. I think it’s fear based (no one will know that I live in this lovely space if I’m not on Instagram) mixed with a sort of love for the creativity and fun of creating a visually beautiful life in those unrealistic squares. I’ve even got an entire post written about this (will be published this weekend over at WWP) and now… you… YOUR WORDS… feels like God tapping my shoulder and showing me perhaps, why I’ve felt less hopeful, more agitated, and everything urgent since my return…He’s saying “you’re not using it, it’s using you.” Thanks for the wrecking ball, Danielle LOL!!! I needed this. Pray for me, please!
Oh Laura, I can relate to all of these things! I will pray for your discernment. The funny thing for me is that I am now going back and experimenting with posting my substack stuff on IG and FB. I felt funny leaving my accounts with over a year-old content at the top and I wasn't ready to just delete. I do the "posting" by scheduling in the meta business suite at the same time that I'm scheduling my substack post. It takes less than 5 minutes as substack automatically creates the images for sharing. This way I am not hanging out on those other platforms (and honestly maybe I can only do this because they have truly lost their appeal for me). I don't expect much traction in those places as I'm not playing their game, but for now I'm at peace with this.
Who knows? Substack might eventually become the kind of place I don't want to be anymore. These platforms are always changing and they are not US. We get to make the decision about whether or not to engage.
Laura - I am there with you sister!! Read my comment. Was off for years and *just* got back on. I feel the pull too… def a hard thing to find balance with!
Thanks for putting this into such thoughtful words. I have had a very similar experience, stepping quietly away from IG when I realized I was no longer seeing my family and friends' posts anymore with any consistency. I have checked back in since then and also saw it more clearly for what is has become. It was the first time I realized these platforms are always changing and what started as a pleasing way to keep in touch with family and friends was no longer that.
I never did Instagram but that’s how I have started feeling about Facebook. So many ads and so many posts with divisive comments. Fewer and fewer posts about friends and family.
Love this, Danielle! I’ve recently been using the Brick device to set better boundaries around Instagram and Facebook, and it has been so freeing. The first week of intentionally being off of social media was a little embarrassing. I noticed how much my brain craved the quick dopamine and how impatient I was with my husband and children. I’m about a month and a half in now and am starting to see some of the positive effects you mention. I feel very encouraged by you to keep distancing myself from it!!
This is so good! Honestly I have been wrestling because I was off for YEARS. The Lord called me to take a deep dive down under with him into silence and preparation for what we are doing now - with our Ministry. But also getting rid of social media was so freeing as it showed me what real life & intentional living look like. They aren’t reflective of numbers or how much you post your cute kids online. I would have people tell me to put more photos of the kids up- and I always thought that was strange because if they really cared, they would just call and come over or we could visit. It revealed the bitter reality that people want to “see” our lives to measure or monitor it (maybe, maybe not) but not necessarily be an active part of our life. A lot of social media is surface level. I received great treasures in that time away- unexplainable really- what God can do when you give him your *full* attention.
I’ve even noticed how strange it is that people write letters to their children or husband or dead relative (whoever) on social media. Sometimes the other person doesn’t even have an account. I would wonder- does that person know what the writer thinks? Did they say it to them in person? We are so disconnected as a culture. It blows my mind. And I participate in it too, to ab extent…it’s hard not to!
So thats where I am now. Wrestling. Bc I am back on for the ministry, to help gain visibility- because the Lord called us to the world-wide-web. Not because I wanted to go. But because he asked me to. And I find myself scrolling for hours at night!! HOURS! How insane. Mostly inspirational scrolls, but still. Time given to what? A market- like you said. We are the product; the consumer.
I *just* told my husband last night, I’m deleting the app on my phone and using it on the computer for the business. This just confirms my desires to step back again! It’s a hard line not to cross. It’s chemical. There’s a shift in the brain patterns and way of thought 100%. I also have found it disruptive to my days as I seek looking and looking at the app - even when I use the bathroom! Crazy huh?!
My eye has also been perpetually twitching which tells me it’s time 😜🤪.
Danielle- have you read Carlos Whitakker’s book Reconnected? I think you would enjoy based on what you have posted here. I am grateful you did not get off the internet entirely, we need you Danielle Bean!!!!!
This is such a thoughtful and true analysis. I'm on Insta, but typically click to view only Followed. However, it keeps tossing you back into the pool. And so many many ads. So well said. I'm viewing it less and less.
Thank you Janice! It sounds like you are on the right track. I have found that just becoming AWARE of what IG does to us is often the first step toward positive change.
Three days ago I was hit with an image on instagram that shook me to my core. Ugly crying. Enraged and confused. My peace was shattered. I prayed the Divine Mercy Chaplet. And then I deleted it all. Substack is my new go to. I have BeReal with my sisters and kids. And Marco Polo with siblings and friends. I’m good. I’m regaining my peace and filling the recaptured time with more music, reading, and connections IRL 🩷
This is so good Danielle! I was just chatting with my sister about this, and I think you said so many of the things we were feeling but didn’t have the words for. Sending to her now! Blessed by your work 💕.
I agree with limiting access to a lot of social media! I prefer actually talking to, sending an old fashioned letter/note card or emailing a friend! To me also, the Facebook scrolling was such a time waste! I only posted twice on Facebook last year and did not miss it one bit! 😊
Thank you for sharing this. As an aspiring author I am torn about the pressure to be on social media and accrue followers. I have never felt called by God or inclined to be actively present on social media. I was in religious life when the Iphone was introduced in our culture. When I discerned out, I returned home to a completely different world with screens everywhere and the absorption of attention even as people walked down the sidewalk. As you note, social media like Instagram is designed to attract our curiosity and absorb us into endless scrolling which ends up taking the place of the contemplation of God. With the ongoing development of AI, I am even more uncertain about social media. I don't know if what I see is real, if someone's "thoughtful" post was actually put together without the effort of real human thought, etc. In your opinion, is there any hope for an aspiring author to write a book without engaging in the social media world as it has been done? I honestly would hire someone to manage social media for me if I had to have the platform and had the money, but that's not an option and I don't feel the desire to plunge into what so many more experienced people are feeling called out of.
Short answer: yes, there is absolutely hope for an aspiring author who doesn’t feel called to live on social media. A platform doesn’t have to mean Instagram. It can be built slowly and sanely through writing that’s faithful, thoughtful, and human—newsletters, essays, speaking, word of mouth, relationships. (Very old-school. Very radical.)
Also, your instinct matters. If something consistently pulls you away from prayer, presence, and peace, that’s real discernment.
I don’t think everyone is meant to “show up online” in the same way. Some are called to step back and write from a quieter place, and honestly, that kind of voice is increasingly rare and needed.
Not to mention it creates a digital avatar for you. A stand in for self. That self can be attacked online while you’re unaware. I think this leads to us being primarily locked in to protect ourselves. It’s all so unnatural for how we are wired.
Oh gosh, can I come over for a cup of coffee and chat about this with you for a few days? I am in agreement with every bit of this 100%. I took THREE YEARS OFF. And… just returned. Opened the app…started posting… and IMMEDIATELY I could feel the rewiring of my brain…and heart. I’m “using it” to organize thoughts/chapters for a book proposal… I’m “using it” as a way for people to find me here, on Substack (like a gateway drug)… and “using” and “drug”are appropriate words. I think it’s fear based (no one will know that I live in this lovely space if I’m not on Instagram) mixed with a sort of love for the creativity and fun of creating a visually beautiful life in those unrealistic squares. I’ve even got an entire post written about this (will be published this weekend over at WWP) and now… you… YOUR WORDS… feels like God tapping my shoulder and showing me perhaps, why I’ve felt less hopeful, more agitated, and everything urgent since my return…He’s saying “you’re not using it, it’s using you.” Thanks for the wrecking ball, Danielle LOL!!! I needed this. Pray for me, please!
Oh Laura, I can relate to all of these things! I will pray for your discernment. The funny thing for me is that I am now going back and experimenting with posting my substack stuff on IG and FB. I felt funny leaving my accounts with over a year-old content at the top and I wasn't ready to just delete. I do the "posting" by scheduling in the meta business suite at the same time that I'm scheduling my substack post. It takes less than 5 minutes as substack automatically creates the images for sharing. This way I am not hanging out on those other platforms (and honestly maybe I can only do this because they have truly lost their appeal for me). I don't expect much traction in those places as I'm not playing their game, but for now I'm at peace with this.
Who knows? Substack might eventually become the kind of place I don't want to be anymore. These platforms are always changing and they are not US. We get to make the decision about whether or not to engage.
Laura - I am there with you sister!! Read my comment. Was off for years and *just* got back on. I feel the pull too… def a hard thing to find balance with!
Thanks for putting this into such thoughtful words. I have had a very similar experience, stepping quietly away from IG when I realized I was no longer seeing my family and friends' posts anymore with any consistency. I have checked back in since then and also saw it more clearly for what is has become. It was the first time I realized these platforms are always changing and what started as a pleasing way to keep in touch with family and friends was no longer that.
Thank you Anne! These platforms certainly have changed from what they once were. You are wise to be paying attention.
I never did Instagram but that’s how I have started feeling about Facebook. So many ads and so many posts with divisive comments. Fewer and fewer posts about friends and family.
Yes it's definitely also true on FB! Good to hear from you David. :)
Thanks Danielle. I enjoy reading your stuff.
Love this, Danielle! I’ve recently been using the Brick device to set better boundaries around Instagram and Facebook, and it has been so freeing. The first week of intentionally being off of social media was a little embarrassing. I noticed how much my brain craved the quick dopamine and how impatient I was with my husband and children. I’m about a month and a half in now and am starting to see some of the positive effects you mention. I feel very encouraged by you to keep distancing myself from it!!
Oooooh keep me posted on how the Brick works for you. I find that so intriguing.
This is so good! Honestly I have been wrestling because I was off for YEARS. The Lord called me to take a deep dive down under with him into silence and preparation for what we are doing now - with our Ministry. But also getting rid of social media was so freeing as it showed me what real life & intentional living look like. They aren’t reflective of numbers or how much you post your cute kids online. I would have people tell me to put more photos of the kids up- and I always thought that was strange because if they really cared, they would just call and come over or we could visit. It revealed the bitter reality that people want to “see” our lives to measure or monitor it (maybe, maybe not) but not necessarily be an active part of our life. A lot of social media is surface level. I received great treasures in that time away- unexplainable really- what God can do when you give him your *full* attention.
I’ve even noticed how strange it is that people write letters to their children or husband or dead relative (whoever) on social media. Sometimes the other person doesn’t even have an account. I would wonder- does that person know what the writer thinks? Did they say it to them in person? We are so disconnected as a culture. It blows my mind. And I participate in it too, to ab extent…it’s hard not to!
So thats where I am now. Wrestling. Bc I am back on for the ministry, to help gain visibility- because the Lord called us to the world-wide-web. Not because I wanted to go. But because he asked me to. And I find myself scrolling for hours at night!! HOURS! How insane. Mostly inspirational scrolls, but still. Time given to what? A market- like you said. We are the product; the consumer.
I *just* told my husband last night, I’m deleting the app on my phone and using it on the computer for the business. This just confirms my desires to step back again! It’s a hard line not to cross. It’s chemical. There’s a shift in the brain patterns and way of thought 100%. I also have found it disruptive to my days as I seek looking and looking at the app - even when I use the bathroom! Crazy huh?!
My eye has also been perpetually twitching which tells me it’s time 😜🤪.
Thanks for the inspiration and REAL post!!
Thank you Melissa! You make so many good points. These digital platforms are a very poor substitute for other, more authentic forms of "connection."
Danielle- have you read Carlos Whitakker’s book Reconnected? I think you would enjoy based on what you have posted here. I am grateful you did not get off the internet entirely, we need you Danielle Bean!!!!!
Oooh thank you for the recommendation, Lisa! I'll check that out!
And I'm glad you're here too. :)
That image of standing before God with a log of my screen time house is so convicting!! Thank you for sharing and helping all of us in this journey
Glad I'm not the only one convicted by it, Kathryn! Thank you for sharing.
Have been contemplating this in my own life so heavily, this was encouraging!!
Praying for your discernment Katy! God will lead you in the right direction :)
This is such a thoughtful and true analysis. I'm on Insta, but typically click to view only Followed. However, it keeps tossing you back into the pool. And so many many ads. So well said. I'm viewing it less and less.
Thank you Janice! It sounds like you are on the right track. I have found that just becoming AWARE of what IG does to us is often the first step toward positive change.
Three days ago I was hit with an image on instagram that shook me to my core. Ugly crying. Enraged and confused. My peace was shattered. I prayed the Divine Mercy Chaplet. And then I deleted it all. Substack is my new go to. I have BeReal with my sisters and kids. And Marco Polo with siblings and friends. I’m good. I’m regaining my peace and filling the recaptured time with more music, reading, and connections IRL 🩷
Thank you for the encouragement!!!!
Oh Rita, I'm so sorry to hear that! Praying for your peace!
This is so good Danielle! I was just chatting with my sister about this, and I think you said so many of the things we were feeling but didn’t have the words for. Sending to her now! Blessed by your work 💕.
Thank you so much Lauren. I'm so happy to know it resonates with you. God bless you and your sister!
I agree with limiting access to a lot of social media! I prefer actually talking to, sending an old fashioned letter/note card or emailing a friend! To me also, the Facebook scrolling was such a time waste! I only posted twice on Facebook last year and did not miss it one bit! 😊
Thank you for sharing this. As an aspiring author I am torn about the pressure to be on social media and accrue followers. I have never felt called by God or inclined to be actively present on social media. I was in religious life when the Iphone was introduced in our culture. When I discerned out, I returned home to a completely different world with screens everywhere and the absorption of attention even as people walked down the sidewalk. As you note, social media like Instagram is designed to attract our curiosity and absorb us into endless scrolling which ends up taking the place of the contemplation of God. With the ongoing development of AI, I am even more uncertain about social media. I don't know if what I see is real, if someone's "thoughtful" post was actually put together without the effort of real human thought, etc. In your opinion, is there any hope for an aspiring author to write a book without engaging in the social media world as it has been done? I honestly would hire someone to manage social media for me if I had to have the platform and had the money, but that's not an option and I don't feel the desire to plunge into what so many more experienced people are feeling called out of.
Short answer: yes, there is absolutely hope for an aspiring author who doesn’t feel called to live on social media. A platform doesn’t have to mean Instagram. It can be built slowly and sanely through writing that’s faithful, thoughtful, and human—newsletters, essays, speaking, word of mouth, relationships. (Very old-school. Very radical.)
Also, your instinct matters. If something consistently pulls you away from prayer, presence, and peace, that’s real discernment.
I don’t think everyone is meant to “show up online” in the same way. Some are called to step back and write from a quieter place, and honestly, that kind of voice is increasingly rare and needed.
Thank you, Danielle.
💯
Not to mention it creates a digital avatar for you. A stand in for self. That self can be attacked online while you’re unaware. I think this leads to us being primarily locked in to protect ourselves. It’s all so unnatural for how we are wired.
I never thought of that way before, Elizabeth. Thank you for sharing that! Interesting!
Good for you! I never started on insta because I was scared of all these things, and now I’m more validated to keep it that way. I get it!!
You are not missing a thing, Rachel! :)