Three Words That Changed How I See Motherhood

Those three words stung at first. Now I see them as a doorway into the sacred, hidden power of motherhood.

Deepak Kumar Dalai from Pixabay

I’ll never forget the time I was introduced at a conference by a man who clearly hadn’t read my bio. At that point, I had multiple published books and was serving as publisher of Catholic Digest. I was also a mother of eight children.

But as he took the podium to welcome me, he smiled in my direction and said I was “just a mom.”

It wasn’t the words themselves that stung; it was the way he said them. Like being “just a mom” was small. Like it was a throwaway detail that summed up my entire life and meant I wouldn’t really have much to say. I felt embarrassed. Not because I was ashamed of my motherhood, but because he had reduced me to it in a way that dismissed the fullness of who I am, and what a mother is.

That moment has stayed with me, because it revealed something bigger than one man’s sloppy preparation and poor choice of words. It’s a reflection of how our culture sees motherhood: either idealized as sweet and sentimental or dismissed as insignificant or, worse yet, beneath us.

But motherhood—every kind of motherhood—is none of those things. It’s sacred, demanding, powerful work that is core to our identity as women. Some people don’t like that last part and rail against it at the cost of their own contentment, but that doesn’t make it less true.

Yes, women can be CEOs and academics and scientists and politicians.

But let’s not be these things at the expense of who we are, by selling out a message that is written on our hearts, that we were made to mother.

We are made to “see persons with our hearts,” as St. John Paul II described in Mulieris Dignitatem and, though doing this sometimes feels like a burden, it is actually a great gift. To truly see people, know their needs, and love them with the kind of self-giving, life-giving, generous love only we can give is not a small thing. It’s everything.

I’m sometimes accused of idealizing motherhood, and I’ll admit: I do hold up an ideal. We should have a vision of the beauty and importance of this vocation in our minds and hearts.

But I’ve also never sugarcoated it. I talk about the struggles, the loneliness, the sacrifice, and the surrender it requires. It’s important to talk about these things because the enemy wants us to feel alone in our trials, but here’s a little secret:

That’s where Jesus meets us—right in the mess and the hard places.

Motherhood looks different for every woman. In my motherhood, I’m not trying to fit into any category, and when I speak aboout motherhood, I’m certainly not trying to make any other woman squeeze into a box. St. Edith Stein called motherhood “expansive” and I think that’s the perfect word for it.

I don’t aspire to any label. I just want to be faithful. Faithful to Christ, faithful to his Church, and faithful to the daily work of loving and serving the people God has given me to love, work that is often hidden, often hard, but always holy.

Motherhood isn’t a limitation, a hobby, a nice add-on, or a secondary vocation. It’s a high calling. It shapes us, stretches us, and calls us to become more of who God created us to be. It demands our strength, our creativity, our patience, and, most of all, our love.

It’s not small. It’s not insignificant. It’s everything.

So no, I’m not “just a mom.” And neither are you. We should never let anyone—including ourselves—forget the eternal value of the work God has entrusted to us.

---

---

More to read:

💙 About Girlfriends

10 Habits of Catholic Women Who Thrive at Every Age

Hope That Fills Empty Spaces

Thriving in the Wild: 10 Catholic Girl Habits That Just Work

Messy, Beautiful: Thoughts After 25 Years of Homeschooling