Love this. I was a teacher and always was very focused on classroom culture over detailed lesson or unit plans. I’m diving into year one of homeschooling this fall (3 kids ages 3, 6, and 8) and everyone keeps asking me about CURRICULUM. I’m like, I pulled my kids from school so I can be with them. I missed them. I haven’t even ordered any materials yet, and I’ve actually been saying this exact phrase: “We’re just working on our family culture right now.” And honestly I feel led by intuition to do that all year: to work mostly on just living together, being together, tending to our yard and home together. And yes, of course, I’m sure we will do some sit-down work. But it’s far from my priority in year 1 and reading this felt so affirming!
Thank you for this! I’m only 3 years into homeschooling and found this to be so grounding. It’s so easy to get discouraged because the house is a wreck or conversely homeschooling isn’t happening or both things are happening but CHAOS. So affirming and encouraging to hear this reflection from you. Thank you!
We did not homeschool high school I had my youngest just graduated. And I love your essay. Yes it was messy. Yes I made mistakes but I feel my kids know each other well and love one another. And that makes all the difference.
I need this kind of encouragement. I've never felt I have the disposition to homeschool — or maybe just not the energy. And our kids have done well in public school *gasp!*. We have some good ones in our area. But when I did the math a couple of years ago and realized that when our youngest hits middle school, he will be our only one left in school, I decided I would commit to homeschooling. I've survived middle school enough times to know there are circles of the Inferno modeled after it.
It will be a weird time to transition to homeschooling, and I still am nervous about it, but I think it will be the right fit. (No, we're not changing it up sooner, because we genuinely do love our elementary school, and our high school has been a good fit too.)
I'm a former public school teacher and grandpa of two, a boy and girl, who wonders about what future exists for my grandchildren. In your writing, you don't say anything about how much formal education beyond high school any of your own children have pursued. You opened my eyes about the daily issues involved in home schooling, but at the same time, I wondered how prepared any homeschooler is to step out into the world of college and career. Can you address these issues either in responding to me or in another podcast? Thank you! I stumbled upon your podcast for the first time this morning and am grateful for the opportunity.
Hi John! Thank you for your comment. I love that you are an involved and caring Grandpa! To answer your question, all eight of our children have gone on to college (our last will begin in the fall) and some of them have gotten advanced degrees beyond that (theology and engineering). In our experience, homeschooling is not any kind of obstacle to the college application process, and our kids have thrived, academically and socially, at college and in life.
Thank You Danielle for such a quick but also insightful reply! While none of us can "guarantee" a certain goal attainment or outcome for our children, that's where faith comes into play. God has a MUCH GREATER plan for our children and grandchildren than anything we can try to control. I'm trying to learn how to give the control to God, but as I'm sure you know from your own experiences, it's hard! Thanks again!!
Thank you for your beautiful words Danielle! We're on our second year of homeschooling, and reading this gives me so much hope and I realize I have even more beautiful things to look forward to in our journey.
Love this! Made me feel nostalgic for our homeschool days that turned into 15 homeschooling years! Yes, there were hard days as you mentioned but oh so many blessings of family time and learning together! And I kept our E.B. White books for the grandkids!
We’re on a similar timeline - been homeschooling for about 25 years too and have 2.5 more to go. I have little to do since my daughter is taking online classes and works independently. I was so reluctant when we started to homeschool and gosh darn - it was so very hard! I think it was worth it though; at least I hope so. I have so many more thoughts I’d like to chew on with you and other moms - wish you all could come over for a cup of coffee. 😉
After 25 years of messy homeschooling, we have a 4th and 7th grader still homeschooling. We're finding our people, some old, some new and what we love, like ballet (less) and sailing (more) while we are dreaming of a new home to flourish in. Maybe we'll even have chickens there! 😉
As a brand-new homeschooler (we started kindergarten this week with my oldest), I found this post a valuable source of perspective. It's helpful to step back and think about what our family culture is and how we transmit it day by day. We are Catholic (although I spent most of my life as an evangelical and also bring those traditions) and also an interracial/intercultural couple, and what we are passing on is a mix of multiple cultures and faith traditions. Homeschooling lets us pass on this cultural blend in unique ways, which is one of the reason we chose it.
Thank you once again, Danielle, for your beautiful words! We are about to begin our third year of homeschooling. Some of my kids have been homeschooled from the start, but my older three (8th, 10th, and 12th grade) are starting year 3 of homeschool. I thought we had a good “family culture” before beginning homeschooling, but I am amazed at the gradual and beautiful changes I’ve seen. My parents first helped me notice this. Initially not proponents of homeschooling, they have become my biggest fans. When they visit and get to stay for a few weeks at a time, they love to point out beautiful changes in my children and in our family. I never thought of it as family culture before, but it seems the perfect description. What a blessing homeschooling has been for us in ways I never could have foreseen.
And, I sure hope someone bakes you a cake and honors those 25 years of homeschooling!!!
What beautiful encouragement you have from your parents! I love that. Thank you for sharing a little bit of your story as well. Keep up the good work, Mama!
I don’t think every homeschooling family gets it, that it’s about your home culture, but we do! We try to keep it real, especially our faith in God. We trust Him for opportunities and we do our best, focusing on the cup overflowing joyfully and the Source.
Thank you for the encouragement! I think I know this at the core — the relationships and character are the heart, and yes, we’re working on math and reading, but the laminated flash cards will not make or break it. I feel that same way “reluctant homeschooler”, because in so many ways this is not a matter of it being an idealistic dream but a practical calling to steward my children in the best way I can. If I had another viable option that I felt really served their needs, I’d jump at it, but this is it for now. It’s not to say I don’t enjoy plenty of moments, just that I feel constantly under equipped and over extended. And when you spend the whole day dealing with attitude issues and talking through heart issues and nursing the baby there is very little time left for folding the laundry that will sit in its baskets for another night.
I am late to the game of homeschooling, as I seem to be late to everything. I tell everyone I was born two weeks late and I've been trying to catch up ever since. I started homeschooling my youngest two (now 12 and just turned 14) almost five years ago when my husband and I decided that we would not return to school under COVID conditions. Our 14 year old has some neurodivergent issues (ADHD and Autism) and my 12 year old catches on to everything so quickly! As we began, I was quickly overwhelmed my curriculum choices. I asked for help from homeschooling families that I knew. They all seemed to have vague answers like, "you'll find what fits your family," and "every child learns differently," or "just jump in!" My questions were, "Where am I jumping?" and "What are you using and why?"
So yes, children learn differently. The weight of homeschooling fall all on my shoulders. Our family has had some real and crazy medical issues where twice I was admitted to the hospital for several days leaving my boys at home distraught and with no direction (they were 7 and 8 at the time). After all is said and done, I struggle with structure, and I mean STRUGGLE! My husband has also had some severe health issues.
Your article above gives me so much hope! Because we live our faith, we read scripture, learn about the saints and we pray together, somehow, with God's help and the intercession of our Beloved Blessed Moher, we may not have worldly success, but will lean on our Lord and He will tug us along.
Love this. I was a teacher and always was very focused on classroom culture over detailed lesson or unit plans. I’m diving into year one of homeschooling this fall (3 kids ages 3, 6, and 8) and everyone keeps asking me about CURRICULUM. I’m like, I pulled my kids from school so I can be with them. I missed them. I haven’t even ordered any materials yet, and I’ve actually been saying this exact phrase: “We’re just working on our family culture right now.” And honestly I feel led by intuition to do that all year: to work mostly on just living together, being together, tending to our yard and home together. And yes, of course, I’m sure we will do some sit-down work. But it’s far from my priority in year 1 and reading this felt so affirming!
I love everything about this! You get it! Thank you so much for sharing. 💙
Thank you for this! I’m only 3 years into homeschooling and found this to be so grounding. It’s so easy to get discouraged because the house is a wreck or conversely homeschooling isn’t happening or both things are happening but CHAOS. So affirming and encouraging to hear this reflection from you. Thank you!
So happy to hear this!! Thank you for sharing here.
We did not homeschool high school I had my youngest just graduated. And I love your essay. Yes it was messy. Yes I made mistakes but I feel my kids know each other well and love one another. And that makes all the difference.
Exactly how I feel! Thank you so much. <3
Great post! I have been homeschooling for 22 years and have 5 to go. It has been one of the best parts of my entire life!
Thank you Gina! God bless you and your family!
I need this kind of encouragement. I've never felt I have the disposition to homeschool — or maybe just not the energy. And our kids have done well in public school *gasp!*. We have some good ones in our area. But when I did the math a couple of years ago and realized that when our youngest hits middle school, he will be our only one left in school, I decided I would commit to homeschooling. I've survived middle school enough times to know there are circles of the Inferno modeled after it.
It will be a weird time to transition to homeschooling, and I still am nervous about it, but I think it will be the right fit. (No, we're not changing it up sooner, because we genuinely do love our elementary school, and our high school has been a good fit too.)
Oh Julie Ann, I will be praying for you! God is with you. You might like to tune in to my live this evening with Dr. Claire Honeycutt about embracing unexpected changes! https://daniellebean.substack.com/p/saying-yes-to-the-unexpected-with
Thank you!
I'm a former public school teacher and grandpa of two, a boy and girl, who wonders about what future exists for my grandchildren. In your writing, you don't say anything about how much formal education beyond high school any of your own children have pursued. You opened my eyes about the daily issues involved in home schooling, but at the same time, I wondered how prepared any homeschooler is to step out into the world of college and career. Can you address these issues either in responding to me or in another podcast? Thank you! I stumbled upon your podcast for the first time this morning and am grateful for the opportunity.
Hi John! Thank you for your comment. I love that you are an involved and caring Grandpa! To answer your question, all eight of our children have gone on to college (our last will begin in the fall) and some of them have gotten advanced degrees beyond that (theology and engineering). In our experience, homeschooling is not any kind of obstacle to the college application process, and our kids have thrived, academically and socially, at college and in life.
Thank You Danielle for such a quick but also insightful reply! While none of us can "guarantee" a certain goal attainment or outcome for our children, that's where faith comes into play. God has a MUCH GREATER plan for our children and grandchildren than anything we can try to control. I'm trying to learn how to give the control to God, but as I'm sure you know from your own experiences, it's hard! Thanks again!!
Thank you for your beautiful words Danielle! We're on our second year of homeschooling, and reading this gives me so much hope and I realize I have even more beautiful things to look forward to in our journey.
I'm so happy to hear you found some encouragement here, Laurice! May God bless you and your family. :)
Love this! Made me feel nostalgic for our homeschool days that turned into 15 homeschooling years! Yes, there were hard days as you mentioned but oh so many blessings of family time and learning together! And I kept our E.B. White books for the grandkids!
I wrote this recently: https://open.substack.com/pub/brookezoller/p/heres-what-id-tell-you-after-15-years?utm_source=app-post-stats-page&r=54uqv3&utm_medium=ios
We’re on a similar timeline - been homeschooling for about 25 years too and have 2.5 more to go. I have little to do since my daughter is taking online classes and works independently. I was so reluctant when we started to homeschool and gosh darn - it was so very hard! I think it was worth it though; at least I hope so. I have so many more thoughts I’d like to chew on with you and other moms - wish you all could come over for a cup of coffee. 😉
I would LOVE that Antonia! God bless you and your family.
After 25 years of messy homeschooling, we have a 4th and 7th grader still homeschooling. We're finding our people, some old, some new and what we love, like ballet (less) and sailing (more) while we are dreaming of a new home to flourish in. Maybe we'll even have chickens there! 😉
What a beautiful journey! I bet you enjoy so much more now than you did in the beginning. God bless you guys!
I do find more peace and less pressure now, both internally and externally.
As a brand-new homeschooler (we started kindergarten this week with my oldest), I found this post a valuable source of perspective. It's helpful to step back and think about what our family culture is and how we transmit it day by day. We are Catholic (although I spent most of my life as an evangelical and also bring those traditions) and also an interracial/intercultural couple, and what we are passing on is a mix of multiple cultures and faith traditions. Homeschooling lets us pass on this cultural blend in unique ways, which is one of the reason we chose it.
Thanks so much for sharing your perspective, Kathleen. I hope your school year is off to a great start!
Thank you once again, Danielle, for your beautiful words! We are about to begin our third year of homeschooling. Some of my kids have been homeschooled from the start, but my older three (8th, 10th, and 12th grade) are starting year 3 of homeschool. I thought we had a good “family culture” before beginning homeschooling, but I am amazed at the gradual and beautiful changes I’ve seen. My parents first helped me notice this. Initially not proponents of homeschooling, they have become my biggest fans. When they visit and get to stay for a few weeks at a time, they love to point out beautiful changes in my children and in our family. I never thought of it as family culture before, but it seems the perfect description. What a blessing homeschooling has been for us in ways I never could have foreseen.
And, I sure hope someone bakes you a cake and honors those 25 years of homeschooling!!!
What beautiful encouragement you have from your parents! I love that. Thank you for sharing a little bit of your story as well. Keep up the good work, Mama!
I don’t think every homeschooling family gets it, that it’s about your home culture, but we do! We try to keep it real, especially our faith in God. We trust Him for opportunities and we do our best, focusing on the cup overflowing joyfully and the Source.
Sounds like you totally get it! It is all about learning to trust God in all things. 🙏💙
Thank you for the encouragement! I think I know this at the core — the relationships and character are the heart, and yes, we’re working on math and reading, but the laminated flash cards will not make or break it. I feel that same way “reluctant homeschooler”, because in so many ways this is not a matter of it being an idealistic dream but a practical calling to steward my children in the best way I can. If I had another viable option that I felt really served their needs, I’d jump at it, but this is it for now. It’s not to say I don’t enjoy plenty of moments, just that I feel constantly under equipped and over extended. And when you spend the whole day dealing with attitude issues and talking through heart issues and nursing the baby there is very little time left for folding the laundry that will sit in its baskets for another night.
"If I had another viable option that I felt really served their needs, I’d jump at it, but this is it for now."
I very much felt this same way for years!
Thanks for sharing this essay, Danielle! Very helpful. Love your realness . So nice to meet you:).
Thank you so much, Julie! It's encouraging to know it is "real" to you, because it truly is to me! God bless you. :)
I am late to the game of homeschooling, as I seem to be late to everything. I tell everyone I was born two weeks late and I've been trying to catch up ever since. I started homeschooling my youngest two (now 12 and just turned 14) almost five years ago when my husband and I decided that we would not return to school under COVID conditions. Our 14 year old has some neurodivergent issues (ADHD and Autism) and my 12 year old catches on to everything so quickly! As we began, I was quickly overwhelmed my curriculum choices. I asked for help from homeschooling families that I knew. They all seemed to have vague answers like, "you'll find what fits your family," and "every child learns differently," or "just jump in!" My questions were, "Where am I jumping?" and "What are you using and why?"
So yes, children learn differently. The weight of homeschooling fall all on my shoulders. Our family has had some real and crazy medical issues where twice I was admitted to the hospital for several days leaving my boys at home distraught and with no direction (they were 7 and 8 at the time). After all is said and done, I struggle with structure, and I mean STRUGGLE! My husband has also had some severe health issues.
Your article above gives me so much hope! Because we live our faith, we read scripture, learn about the saints and we pray together, somehow, with God's help and the intercession of our Beloved Blessed Moher, we may not have worldly success, but will lean on our Lord and He will tug us along.